As a seventeen year old in a Public High School, it is easy for almost anyone to see (or hear for that matter) the numerous dating fails happening in today’s society. Every week its the same story, different drama. It’s crazy! In fact, it’s kind of gross. So many girls are getting to the point where they just don’t want to date anymore (which shouldn’t be!) and guys are getting to the point where they don’t even want a relationship (which definitely shouldn’t be — hello, STDs.) So here are some tips for sucessful dating. Some are just my own opinions, some are from someone I look up to very much who I will cite later on. But here it goes:
1. Dating isn’t for fun only.
Believe it or not, it really isn’t. We start out thinking it’s for fun. So we see a guy/girl we think is good looking, go “uh, wanna go out?” and they say “sure.” So you go out, and at first those butterflies are AMAZING. But the moment the actual relationship starts — finding things in common, agreeing on absolutely anything, hanging out with eachother’s friends, etc. — it’s absolute crap. And you can’t figure out why. Well, that’s because it’s not just for the emotional or sexual high.
2. Statutory isn’t just sexual.
Ha okay, so maybe that sounds retarded. But if I could go back to when i was 13 years old and stop myself from a lot of the STUPID stuff I said or did, I’d be a lot better off right now. At the age of 13 or so, you are trying to discover who you are, let alone be able to have a relationship with someone else that serious. And if you are 13 and you think you have it all figured out (which you probably do think that…BTW, you dont.) just take it from someone who actually lived through the age of 13…and 14 and 15, the life that you have right now will be completely different a few years from now. Don’t make that a bad thing by making huge decisions prematurely in these sweet years.
Oh, and if Mommy has to drive you to your first date: you’re too young to be thinking that serious.
3. True Love Waits ^.^ - ha, no but seriously.
If your reltionship lasts a long time, you’re going to want to have sex.
That’s not weird, it’s actually natural. But don’t.
Why?
Oh, what’s that you say? You’re absolutely sure he/she’s the one?
Yeah, i said that too. Turns out we weren’t on the same page.
Oh, but it’s just “getting practice” these days.
Because that’s what I want, a husband whose had plenty of “practice” women -.-
Words may feel amazing, but try saying “no sex” and you’ll see real quick if their actions back up their sweet words or not. If they do, great. If they don’t, run.
If you can save yourself for your future spouse, it will be an amazingly sweet thing to prove that you loved them so much, you waited just for them. And if you haven’t waited, it’s okay to start now. Jesus died for forgiveness, not perfect people.
4. For the love of everything, it’s not a relationship if you can’t talk to each other face to face.
Texting is great. It’s an amazing proof of the advancement in technology and easiness in communication. But don’t hide behind a cell phone when you have things you are too scared to say in person. If you can’t talk straight to someone when you’re dating them, how will that work when you’re married.
And if you are in a long distance relationship, i understand. In fact, I’ve been there! But try talking on the phone more. It’s better to say things verbally than to text them out, it will mean a lot more actually.
Plus, how many fights happen over texting miscommunication? Just make it easier on yourself.
5. Laides: Guys do have egos. No amount of feminism will help you here.
Tearing a guy down, joking or not, won’t get you ANYWHERE. Guys are wired with egos pretty much from birth. Please, please, please do not man handle their egos, it will lead to the loss of your respect.
6. Don’t get stuck in a rut.
This is probably the hardest thing for me. I’m a total human being of routine, so it’s easy for me to get caught up doing the same things over and over. But don’t!
Try things new! Relationships take a LOT of work. Sitting on the couch watching TV every Friday night will get old fast, trust me.
Do something different. Try something neither of you would normally do. Even if neither of you end up liking it, it’s worth a try and in the end you will learn something about eachother.
7. Gaurd Your Heart.
Like I said earlier, your heart is precious. It holds your emotions and character, and letting people come and go through it like a Super 8 eventually can warp those emotions and characteristics. I can’t tell you how many times I have changed a part of me after a devistating break up.
So don’t date so much! And when you do, don’t just jump right in.
First of all, think of it like this: Your heart is a precious pearl (cheesy, but just go with me) and it lays in its protective shell. If you rip it out and give it to someone prematurely, it doesn’t have time to develop and reach it’s full potential as a beautiful, large, white pearl.
So don’t just give your “pearl” to whoever. Treat relationships like you were chosing to give away someone who was important to you. You wouldn’t just give your sister away to the first guy who comes along, you’d evaluate each guy who showed interest in her. Do that with yourself!
And when you do date, just because they “passed the test” doesn’t mean they get your heart right off the bat.
8. DON’T BE FRIENDS WITH YOUR EXS!
They get in the way. And leave your boyfriend/girlfriend feeling insecure, whether they admit it or not. It’ll happen at some point.
9. Get to know their family/friends.
Do this because they are going to be there for them when you aren’t. You want to know who they are, and they are apart of that person’s life too — it’ll make that person feel like you are “approved”, fit in, and it will also make things easier.
10. Make sure you believe the same things!!
I know people think that you can date or even marry someone with different religious beliefs as you, but if you seriously believe something with all your heart, when your married and your spouse starts telling your kids the exact opposite — their will be fights!
And if I’m a Muslim (which I’m not. Purely an example) and I marry an athiest, than my religion says my spouse isn’t going to heaven. And if I truly believe that, and truly love them, how can I live with that?
Choose wisely.
